The good thing about not taking responsibility for your life is that you can always find someone to blame for your troubles.
The downside is that you never really get anywhere because you don’t sense your own power to achieve what you want. Plus your blaming eventually drains your energy, as does feeling resentment and anger.
Step 1: Deciding to take responsibility for all outcomes is the first step. That means you can see your part in everything; that’s not saying everything is your fault.
Seeing life in terms of my fault, your fault, their fault limits your ability to conceive solutions.
Step 2: Define success for you. What do you want to see happen in your life today, this week, this month, this year, before you die. Not what you’re supposed to want, what do you really want to experience. Write it down.
Step 3: Now, here’s a really fun and challenging step. Imagine that you are where you want to be….how does that feel? What you want is to make decisions from that place, not from your current reality.
Does that mean asking your banker for a yacht loan?
It does mean that you ask yourself, “If I were the person I want to be, how would I make that decision?”
Example: My friend Emily has a business in which she helps people market their businesses using social media. Her computer recently broke down. Instead of blaming Steve Jobs for not making a computer that lasts a lifetime, she decided not to waste time trying to mend an outdated machine and bought a new fancy computer. This is not what she would do normally. Normally she would have a minor breakdown and then try to fix the problem with the sole criteria of using the least amount of money.
However, what she actually did was buy the computer if she had as much businesses as she could handle. Her new computer enables her to do even better work for her clients, and makes her day brighter.
So, next decision you face: consider what would you do, if you were already the person you want to be.