If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that words not only describe what’s going on, they are tools to co-create what’s going on. Put another way, words are full of creative power available for you to leverage.
This is not something taught in English or communication class. However, once you see it and get this idea, it transforms everything. Consider this. The whole Politically Correct speech movement actually reveals a fragility in our culture, precisely because words have power. This intention behind the proponents of politically-correct speech is to protect designated groups of people from being negatively affected, or victimized in some way, by the use of certain words.
So. If words are that powerful in our culture, how about the words you use in your life?
This is not a list of words you are prohibited from using. Rather it is a list of words and phrases I encourage you to be careful about using and consider their potential impact on your subconscious mind.
I am no expert in the subconscious mind, but I do realize and see its influence on our outcomes. You’re certainly familiar with the Freudian slip, the projection of motives and repression of memory; that’s just the tiptop of the iceberg. What is known about the subconscious mind is that it takes in far far far more information than does your conscious mind. I suggest that even when no one else is listening to you, your subconscious mind is taking in every single word and nuance.
Consider what’s going on the next time you’re tempted to say….
1. Yes, when you mean no.
This all-too-easy language trap can lead you to trade in your authenticity for a bit of acceptance. That can be a slippery slope. I can clearly remember way back when one of the pop stars was David Cassidy. In 4th grade at a friend’s house, I was asked, "Don’t you just love David Cassidy?" I answered pretty quickly, "Oh yeah, he’s great." I had never heard of the guy. And even after I found out what he looked like and heard his music, I wasn’t that enthralled.
I wish I could say I quickly learned my lesson, and right away told my buddy what I really thought about David Cassidy. (Is he even alive these days?)
Every time you trade your power for acceptance, you lose a bit of yourself. Not a healthy habit.
2, I should…
Saying should usually happens when we don’t want to. I should exercise (bleh), If you want to develop a new habit, state that you want to do something. Even if you don’t feel like it. If you want the outcome of an activity, then you want the activity. How to really get going on that great new habit is outside the scope of this article, but the first step is to change your thinking from should to want to. Or else say no.
3. I can’t afford it.
This sentence is for perpetuating a state of not being able to afford something. There is a man I dearly love who often says, "I never make enough money." (sigh.) And he’s a millionaire by the numbers, but not in the authentic sense of being wealthy.
If you want to buy a thing and buying it right now would throw your bank balance out of kilter, then you don’t wish to buy it, right at this moment. Creating total financial success involves being savvy about spending, and feeling rich right now, while you’re actually creating new wealth.
4. I’d love to but I don’t have the time.
Be sincere. Either you don’t want to, or you do. You have just as much time as anyone else. This sort of statement is denying what you really prefer. It’s that trade again, your power for acceptance, not making waves. It’s that slippery slope, I can tell you from experience. Being real, being authentic is knowing your preferences. This was a huge lesson for me I learned from working with Christine Kane.
If people are constantly asking for your time, it’s because that’s how you’ve trained them. You can stop it easily, once you’re clear on your priorities.
The trick is awareness. Making choices driven by acceptance, rather than being our sparkly, authentic selves easier turns into a habit.
Am I being super picky, or what?
Your language outwardly expresses your inner clarity. Clarity is your indispensable guide to creating wealth, changing jobs, or simply carving out more time for yourself. Whatever moving forward means to you, clarity is your power tool to do so.
Do you have any experiences or insights with language to share? Have you ever dulled your own sparkle, so as not to make waves?