Does it ever happen to you that you go the whole day without a phone call, and then all of a sudden everyone you know calls you at the same time? Or after a couple of months with very little social life, you get 11 invitations for the same week-end? Sometimes life flows with a smooth rhythm. Often it’s jolting, jarring and chaotic. Especially for those of us who thrive on making positive change in our own lives and in the world
When people ask me how I crank out all these blog posts for you, I usually tell them the truth. Everything I write to help and entertain you, I write to help and entertain me.
Today’s belated post is no exception. It’s about life change. The part you weren’t expecting.
The great thing about setting goals is that you usually reach them. But not in the way you imagined.
The change you want to experience in your life, the improved relationship, the relaxed finances, the leaner body mass….these are all worthy and achievable goals.
The thing is this. To live differently, you have to be different. You have to be the kind of person who has rich relationships and abundant resources and loads of fun. If you’re not experiencing everything you want right now, you’re being called to grow into the kind of person who lives the way you want.
Growing pains, even for spiritual and emotional growth, are not imaginary. They hurt.
Getting used to managing bigger numbers (both income and expenses) is disconcerting. You might say it’s discombobulating. sometimes, it makes me dizzy. I was not expecting that part.
Getting married is jolting and jarring and scary and exciting.
Making minor changes to my new house is confusing and jumpy and frustrating. It also takes a lot of time and energy.
The temptation, when it all gets overwhelming, and it will get overwhelming….is to visit self pity. (WAY not attractive!) Because you didn’t think you were really and truly ready to manage new relationships, bigger numbers, subcontractors, wedding officiants and paint colors. At the same time.
If you’re experiencing any change; you are by definition ready for it. That doesn’t mean it’s a smooth process.
If you’re not experiencing change. You may be stuck in a rut. Or you may be in the eye of the calm before the storm. Take advantage!
Here’s some questions for you to answer to help you manage life change, both the expected and the unexpected.
1. What is the change that is rocking my boat right now?
In my case, I can say that the change that MOST affects me right now is living in disorder in my new house.
2. How exactly do I feel about it?
I feel annoyed and out of control.
3. Is there anything I can do to return to a situation in which I feel comfortable right now?
Not that I know of. Every day I am establishing more and more order in the house. Any time you move you experience upheaval as part of the process.
4. How does what I feel in question #2 play out in my attitudes and actions?
Feeling cruddy and/or cranky usually paralyzes me. Looking for the good, the little spots of order here and there, that cheers me up. I know this particular chaos is not going to last forever (there will be another one after this one for sure!). I am grateful to be living in my own home and to have painted the walls, installed new carpet in the bedrooms and redone the master bathroom. Those were all excellent changes.
5. What can I do or think to feel better right now?
Write a blog post.
What are your thoughts on change management?