This is what I mean by "shooting yourself in the foot:" you diet like a Tibetian monk on a hunger strike for 3 weeks, lose 7 pounds and then gain 4 pounds back over the week-end when you blow it. Or you almost pay off your credit card debt and then suddenly you’re compelled to order something extra special from Neiman Marcus, something that’s not in the budget for this year, or for the next 3 years. Or you make some extra money and before the check clears it’s already gone.
These are some examples.(Note: I will not write, "and stuff like that" and I hope you will never ever say, "and stuff like that.") This is all about what could be going on when you seem to sabotage yourself.
I’m reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, recommended to me by both Marie Forleo and Christine Kane. The book’s tag line is "Conquer your hidden fear and take life to the next level." Which is what Mixonian Institute is all about, anyway, only we do this the fun way so it doesn’t hurt if we have to rip off a bandaid, which is sometimes what changing a paradigm feels like.
The Mixonian answer to the self sabotage question is taking a lateral approach, or working it from different side angles instead of direct confrontation (which would entail using will power.) Will power sounds quite noble but my experience is that it backfires each and every time because of the resistance part of your brain. Which is why I used to gain weight with every single diet and now I love being at my ideal weight and eating whatever I want. (Of course I’ve trained myself to want to eat salad by the metric ton.)
Now a bit about what Dr. Gay Hendricks (excecutive coach to Michael Dell) recommends to uplevel your life with a leap. He calls the invisible self-sabotage, or what holds you back from achieving your true potential, the Upper Limit Problem and the place where you want to be as the Zone of Genius. (I love that term so expect to see it on the next test.)
Here’s how Hendricks describes the Upper Limit Problem:
I have a limited tolerance for feeling good. When I hit my Upper Limit, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad….I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into conflict with my ex-wife, get inot a money bind, or something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance" (7).
Hendricks then suggests 2 approaches to getting beyond the Upper Limit Problem and into your Zone of Genius. First he gives way to explore the hidden fears and assumptions that we carry around from childhood. these are the very same fears that keep some people from expressing themselves effectively in front of a group. These fears can usually be boiled down to some form of feeling totally inadequate. (Guess what? Everyone feels that!)
The second strategy is to commit to living in your Zone of Genius, where you feel peace of mind, enjoy what you’re doing and are making your unique contribution.
The good news is that the simple act of becoming aware of what goes on in our subconscious minds is powerful. Simply facing a fear can be enough to make it dissappear just like that — poof, it’s gone. I’ve seen it happen over and over in my clients.
Living in your Zone of Genius is not about being Albert Einstein; it’s about daring to be yourself. Got thoughts to share on the topic? We’d love to read your comments.