In a recent conversation with a client, she was sharing her frustration with what she called, "a series of unfortunate events." It was the sort of thing that happens in life — and this client, we’ll call her Michelle, wasn’t really down on herself. However, these events had shaken her confidence in the way she was redesigning her life. That is often the way life unfolds. That’s part of what makes it so interesting. So, you may want to be a part of our discussion of what is means to really be the creative and effective leader in your own life. The word "creative" relates to the ability to create or proactively respond, rather than simply reacting to unfortunate events.
Here are 23 ways you can know if you’re the authentic leader of your own life, rather than simply a participant in it.
1. You love your life, even when the dirt comes up in response to the seeds you’ve planted.
I call it the "Dumped Boyfriend Effect:" Whenever you decide to make a BIG change in your life, the old way makes a huge effort to test your resolve.
Example: After years of remarkable success in the Cubicle Nation, a client resigned to start her own business. Much like a dumped boyfriend, her boss and boss’ boss contorted themselves to make her offer after offer to stay. (Note that 12 months earlier, she was denied a raise despite her stellar performance.)
2. You don’t cancel your hair appointment when you get hit with an unexpected expense. Looking your best is even more important when you’re facing a whopping challenge.
3. You’ve taught everyone in your circle of influence how they may speak to you.
4. You have set aside a bit of time and space for yourself.
5. You know that inside every personal weakness, there lies the potential for your greatest contribution.
6. You make requests, rather than complaints. (Otherwise this known as confronting early and lightly.)
7. You take extremely good care of your body. Some say you’re obsessive about it but you know it’s vital for your well being.
8. You listen to your heart’s desires.
9. You know what makes you happy. (Or you have some seriously good suggestions about this.)
10. You take vacations, the kind where it’s not about visiting family.
11. You delegate a lot because you’re not trying to prove that you’re indispensable.
12. You contribute generously for the joy of it.
13. You invest in yourself consistently.
14. You don’t clip coupons because it takes too much time.
15. Your home is clutter free (at least mostly so.)
16. Your normal state of being is quietly cheerful.
17. You practice observing people and situations without rushing to judge them. (I love Mother Teresa’s saying, If you judge people, you have no time to love them.)
18. You’re confident that things work out for the best.
19. You create wealth, you don’t try to "get" from other people.
20. You forgive everyone, including yourself. Forgiveness FREES you and leaves you abundant energy for other endeavors!
21. Your relationships don’t drain you. (Be where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.)
22. You love to laugh and sometimes remind yourself to lighten up.
23. You don’t normally buy the cheapest of everything.
24. You ground yourself by noticing all the little blessings in your life.
25. You remind yourself of who you are, and who you’re not.
26. You never berate yourself for not having all the answers.
27. You are more likely to say "no" than to say "yes" to things. (In other words, if it’s not something you KNOW you want to be,do or have, you simply say "no.")
28. You LOVE being decisive! Which ones of these speaks to you? Where have you seen the best results in your own life?
BONUS: Want to be an even MORE awesome leader of your own life? The new section of the Clarity Coterie starts September 3!