Have you noticed that it’s easier to communicate with some people than with others? If you’re feeling like your very clear message is being misconstrued or misinterpreted, this article can help you understand what’s going on below the surface. There’s an attachment at the end that visualizes the communication process for you so just download it and print it.
The Communication Process according to Mixonian Institute goes something like this:
1. You have an idea you want to share.
2. You take this idea and you make a message with it. The message is made up of your attitude and feelings, words, tone of voice, appearance and energy.
3. This message travels through some medium, your voice on a phone call, your words in a text, or whatever medium you choose.
4. The messages travels toward the recipient, passing through a multitude of filters. These filters are largely the person’s beliefs and attitudes.
5. Part of your message will resonate in the recipient’s mind, but it’s a message understood from THAT person’s frame of mind, not yours.
(Download the attachment below to see a model of this process.)
As smart as you are, you’re already getting the fact that what’s going on in the other person’s world has a lot to do with the way your message is interpreted. And if you’re not taking extra measures to make sure that message goes out the way you intend, a lot of the message can easily get lost.
Here are some common blocks to your message:
1. The block of Fatigue.
Face it, everyone’s kind of hyper these days. It’s so easy to get careless both on the speaking and listening end of communication. It thus behooves you (I love that word!) to be extra careful with the way you say things.
You might want to overcommunicate a bit. By that I mean, repeat the message more than you normally would or take extra precautions to make sure the message is getting across the way you want it to. One way to do this is to ask the person to reiterate what she just heard you say.
2. The block of needing to control.
It looks like a crazy world out there at times and one common way to cope with uncertainty is by trying to control every aspect of one’s life. We call this being a control freak. And we all have it, just to different degrees.
So how does this affect your communication?
Just as you would like to control the behavior of certain people, they also want to control your behavior. That may extend to controlling what you say. In some cases, people interpret what you say to fit what they think you should be saying. You can give them permission to misinterpret what you say and you can put more effort into crafting your message with extra sensitivity.
Meanings are in people and not in the words you select.
The desire to control becomes stronger when people are stressed out and tired. Act accordingly.
3. The block of Distraction.
This block is significant all the time, but seems to get worse with every new App.
If you’ve ever trained a dog, you know you have to get the dog’s attention before you can communicate anything to the canine. Same thing goes for distracted folks.
4. The block of Unreal Expectations.
As you know, I’m all into thinking big, living posh, glamour and prosperity.
But what happens is that we fail to see the magic that’s happening right in front of us at this very moment. Because we’re looking for fireworks, we fail to see the twinkle of the winter stars.Or we get so consumed with the bad news on television, we ignore the hugs, the sunshine and other blessings of this day.That puts people in a negative emotional state which frames the way they interpret what you’re saying.
Communication happens through emotional filters.
Hence the following:
5. Communication is more difficult if there are problems in the relationship.
Communication happens on 2 levels: content level and relationship level. The more rocky the relationship, the less content gets effectively communicated.
Does this resonate? At Mixonian we’re into peace, love, and amazing prosperity through awesome communication. See the download for a diagram of the communication process. It’s based on a model developed by 2 engineers in 1949.