Your level of self-confidence predicts a great deal of what you’ll achieve and experience in life. Funny thing is people who over-estimate their abilities outperform their friends who under-estimate their own abilities, most of the time. Weird, but true.
Confidence isn’t a constant. There are times when you feel like total rock star and times you’re crying for the earth to swallow you. (My grandmother used to call for the wolves to eat her when her young self confidence faltered. Such was her life on a New Mexican sheep farm.)
FACT. Confident people ace job interviews and other interpersonal encounters, including those of a romantic nature.
FACT. You can train yourself to be more confident. Isn’t that cool?
Consider the following.
1. Just like the stock market, confidence can be up one minute and down the next. Some people’s confidence is more volatile than others’. The first step to having more confidence more of the time, is to realize that it’s a source of strength for you. Obviously you have more control over your confidence than you do over some of your other assets, like your 401K, to name one example.
Action step: Realize self-confidence varies to context and you can train yourself to have more confidence more of the time.
2. Confidence in yourself is not arrogance or selfishness. Actually, arrogance is a major sign of a lack of confidence, same with selfishness.
Action Step: Let go of fear of becoming a pompous ass. It will never happen. Your own confidence helps other people to be self-confident.
Here is what authentic confidence clearly looks like:
– Not dependent on getting approval from others.
– Working in a relaxed (and alert) manner.
– Able to make decisions quickly.
– Realize that life has its ups and downs, and neither lasts forever.
– Knowing that whatever happens, you will figure it out.
Here are 5 things you can do to increase your confidence in your account:
1. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep.
I know it sounds obvious, Dr. Duh, but seriously, fatigue is bad for your confidence. How can you feel audacious and bold when you’re dang tired?
2. Keep a record of your successes, large and small.
Because of a human universal known as the "negativity bias" you tend to forget about your accomplishments. Write in your journal weekly or daily successes and scour your memory to find these!
Examples include exercise, even if it’s not where you want it to be, putting money in savings, whether $50 or $500, having a good meeting, getting a nice email, hearing praise for your work (or your cooking), calling someone you’ve been meaning to call for a while, giving away some clothes to Goodwill, cheering up another person, Ms. Big finally takes your call or you do something especially scary. Keep track!
3. Pretend that you’re really amazingly confident.
Imagine how you would walk, talk, dress and stand if you were so amazingly confident. Assume that body language and just pretend for 15 minutes or all morning that you are Confidence in the Flesh!
4. Exercise hard.
Even if it’s for a short while…which for me means 23 second…, push yourself. You’ll get an extra dose of endorphins that will escalate your fabulousness.
5. Go to the bathroom and put your hands over your head in a huge V.
Yes, this sounds ridiculous, but it’s scientifically-proven to raise your confidence.
There you have it, 5 ways to raise your self-confidence, which is like having more money in the bank.