If there’s one communication tool you should master, it’s the one you’re about to read. Once you get it, you stop wondering if people like you or your ideas, you stop worrying about what they’ll think about you and consequently, people begin to find you literally magnetic.
If you google “mirror effect”, you’re not going to find much. It’s a concept finely tuned in the lab here at the Mixonian, based on research by impressive giants in the psychology and communication fields. It’s an extension of mirroring body language and works in a similar way.
Read about it. Experiment with it. You will love it.
1. the power to produce a result in others that reflects your own attitude and emotion.
2. the process through which one person unconsciously affects the attitude and outlook of another person
3. a way to learn by watching and mimicking others, especially useful for learning to dance hip hop
How the Mirror Effect works:
Example: You have an event after work and you want to meet some interesting people but you secretly wonder if you’re as cool as they are.
1. Get your Mirror Effect out of your toolbox and decide how you would like people to react to you when you meet them. Do you want enthusiasm? Or do you prefer an apathetic coolness, like you don’t care? If you want simple civility, that’s fine too.
2. Act in the way you want others to react to you.
If you want people to treat you like a rock star, then you act like each man you meet is Brad Pitt and each woman is Angelina Jolie. How would you act if you were to meet a celebrity? Probably with a lot of enthusiasm…so pull out your enthusiasm and rock it. Search like crazy for things in other people that you can be sincerely enthusiastic about. Watch the process unfold as people mirror back to you this sparkle.
Example: You have a panel interview for an amazing job and you know some of the people are rooting for you but some of the others, you’re not so sure about.
It’s the same process.
1. Decide how you want them to react to you.
2. Model that reaction.
Probably you’d like for the panel to be impressed with you. So be impressed with them, but not faking it. That means doing your homework, made easy in most cases by the company’s website or even LinkedIn. Find out things about the company, the department and better yet, about the people who are interviewing you, that are impressive.
Share how impressed you are with their accomplishments, and they will return the favor.
How does this work?
It’s part of being human. If you have rapport with someone, you subconsciously model their body language, their rate of speech and speaking mannerisms. It also turns out that in any confrontation, the most confident person persuades. So the mirror effect consists in harnessing your intention, deciding beforehand how you want things to turn out and setting the example for how you want others to behave around you.
This tool also takes your own focus off of yourself on onto others. That’s the real key to connecting with other people.
Try it out at your next:
- Networking event
- Job interview
- Performance review
- Any meeting (focus on the person you most want to connect with)
- Sporting event (unless you’re playing)
- Dinner out
- Happy hour
- Meet and greet
It’s like proactiveness on steroids. With no negative side effects except …. oops, you have more fans now.