Later today I have a needs-assessment phone appointment with a muckety-muck from Governor Nikki Haley's office. I'm hoping he doesn't ask me, "So, tell me about yourself." It's not my favorite question because there's so much to tell...and I know that what is being solicited is the way I answer, not actually what I say. Read more »

In just a few minutes, I'll be doing my first presentation to a video camera for a live audience (it's corporate, not for television.) When people ask about public speaking coaching at Mixonian Institute, that often segues into a conversation about much people hate speaking in public or talking in front of any group. (Much to my surprise, this affects even the chatty folks!) You read a lot about self confidence here because that's the term that comes to mind when people think about public speaking: having or not having enough self confidence to get your point across in an engaging manner. However, it might be more effective to forget about feeling self confident and focus on being fully present in the speaking situation. Read more »

Early last week I got a desperate text from my youngest child. It read "I don't want to" 8 times and "I'm afraid of the ball." (Lacrosse balls are hard!) She was referring to the lacrosse try-outs that were scheduled for that day. She's in 8th grade and was trying out for the high school junior varsity team. So, a bit intimidating for her. However, reading her message, I got a vivid flashback from her at age 8, crying the exact same words right before a violin performance. It was deja vu and I knew she wasn't just afraid of the ball, it was performance anxiety. It was a repeat of an old pattern. Easy to see this in other people....hard to see it in yourself. Your brain doesn't want you to make it change paradigms or think bigger. Read more »

Why do you think we need a National Speak Up & Succeed Day? I think it's because we spend too much time hiding behind email and texting. Seriously. Speak up. Get on the phone. Go to Mrs. Big's office. Speak up at the meeting, even if it is boring. Sit next to the leader of the meeting.

People who speak up are seen as more competent, even when they're not. Read more »

One quarter of an inch. Yesterday I watched Christina and Clara's tennis class and the coach told Christina she needed to change the angle of her racquet by one quarter of an inch (or a couple of millimeters.) Tiny change, big impact. You usually see difference between success and failure in a myriad of small details. Applying this to your language, you can make small changes in your vocabulary for a much bigger impact. It's still true that how you say something, who says it, how the sayer dresses are all important, but the words themselves are tools. Below I'm sharing a sneaky word that looks almost noble, but it's usually a total energy drain. Read more »

My son recently read _A Soldier's Story_ by General Omar Bradley and he was so excited about it I got myself a copy from the library. (My son is not too much into extended phone conversations so reading what he's reading helps me stay more connected to him.) The movie "Patton" is based on this book and reading the book makes the movie so much more interesting. What impressed me about Patton is this. Upon taking charge of a large group of American soliders after they had experienced a resounding defeat at the hands of the Germans in North Africa, the first thing he did was to enforce a higher standard of the dress code. Seriously, there is a severe problem with morale and he's making sure the soldiers are wearing ties and helmets (even the cooks and doctors!) Read more »

This is the second of a two-part series on S T R E T C H I N G yourself, or in other words, about not settling for "whatever." This is about asking for what you really want and then being in a position of such inner strength that life actually gets easier for you. It's not about "getting too big for your britches" or comparing yourself to others. Without taking conscious action, you tend to shrink yourself, to settle, to suck it up and do it anyway, a process that over time, lowers your sense of self worth. This list is about small actions you can take to reverse that process and live your life on purpose, succeeding on your own terms. Read more »