"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." George Bernard Shaw. Unlike medical doctors who get hear about people's physical ailments, I get to hear stories of people's communication conundrums, mostly their frustrations. With communication breakdowns come broken relationships, drama and a lot of wasted time. Inaccurate communication can also cost you a lot of money, trust me. Let's look at the 3 basic reasons people don't get what you're saying:

1. They're not listening...to you.

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Were you born under a lucky star? Or do you even remember? Have you noticed how some people seem to have teflon coating for the troubles of this life? How some people seem be naturally glamorous, or super successful or accomplished? And then there's you....and me.

People often ask me about what the heck is coaching, life coaching or executive coaching and I totally understand because I never really heard of it myself until 2008. I was in a bad spot - recently divorced and feeling not exactly lucky, more like impoverished, a failure and terrified. In a word, "loser." Fortunately I had sense enough to get help and got my life turned around mostly (99%) by changing the way I think. More specifically, I learned to habitually choose my interpretations of everything more carefully and to look closely for evidence of what I want to experience: love, success, accomplishment....the usual things people seek. Read more »

That handsome man in the photo is my dad. It's Father's Day again (not sure how mid-June got here so fast) and today Ruben and I are celebrating 23 months of marriage. Dads these days tend to get a bad rap, or no rap at all. They're often portrayed as buffoons or absolute idiots on television and the object of blame by the very-tired women who are still doing 95% of the housework and childcare and bringing home 88% of the income (these figures are estimates and may not be entirely accurate). Even if your own dad didn't measure up to your expectations, I'm sure you've benefitted from dad energy shared by special men in your life. But I'm about to share a major breakthrough on male/female relationships. (Warning: what you're about to read is not politically correct.)

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Only read this if you've ever felt like quitting on a goal that nobody really cared about anyway. This is a true story starring Mixonian Institute's own intrepid headmistress!

I just finished swimming 100 lengths of the community pool and it took me an hour and 5 minutes. To give you some perspective on this, Brent, this young man I sometimes tutor in Spanish, can swim that distance in about 15 minutes. However, it's really much worse than you think. Last year this time I could easily swim that distance in under an hour. I serenely completed the Lowcountry Splash 2.4-mile open water swim last May. This year's event, prominently displayed on my goal list, is 4 weeks from today and I'm not ready and I want to give up and not do it. 

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Maybe you have a big presentation coming up: a sales talk, cooking class or training event. Even if you don't, this list is handy to help you be remarkable at your next meeting. Lists are now indispensable for remembering things in our ADD world. Not only are they (sometimes) fun to write, they help you organize your thoughts and remind you of important stuff. Hospitals rely extensively on checklists -- people's lives are at stake and not every employee is fully focused on what they're doing every second of the long days they work. Notice that this checklist is not for "Perfect Presentations;" it's for presentations where you feel natural, authentic and want a powerful connection with your audience. I'm not really sure if a presentation can be perfect. To me, "perfect" and "presentation" go together like "chair" and "hug." Not so well. Read more »

So as soon as you get your greenlight, you're gonna do it, right? You'll register that business, get that professional photo taken, sign up for that course, talk to a travel agent, get your passport, do a hot yoga class, go to the community theatre meeting or write that donation check. As soon as you're sure. As soon as you have permission. 

Here's the deal. Read more »

Why do you think we need a National Speak Up & Succeed Day? I think it's because we spend too much time hiding behind email and texting. Seriously. Speak up. Get on the phone. Go to Mrs. Big's office. Speak up at the meeting, even if it is boring. Sit next to the leader of the meeting.

People who speak up are seen as more competent, even when they're not. Read more »

"It's not the medium or the oil or the price or whether it hangs on a wall or you eat it. What matters, what makes it art, is that the person who made it overcome the resistance, ignored the voice of doubt and made something worth making. Something risky. Something human."  Seth Godin

Today was the first day of a huge project. Quite a profitable and strategic project. Nevertheless, a project that doesn't feel very much like art.....I wonder if Van Gogh would have been encouraged with money from a side gig painting houses, or taking commissions just for the money. Did Picasso ever paint just for the money? It's said he was a marketing genius. Does your workplace ever feel like a red light should be hanging by the door? (Meaning the work involves going through the motions and doesn't feel creative.) Here are some thoughts on the matter. Read more »

Here is a 2-page study guide created from the talk "Positive Thinking, Positive Profits" based on leading success research. Enjoy!

Successful leaders establish their persona not by describing their attributes and values to us, but by simply living them." Frank Luntz

Expecting other people, degrees or events to deliver your happiness in response to what you say or do is as effective as burning a book when you don't like what it expresses, instead of going to talk to the author of the book. It's like hitting the movie screen when you don't like the movie. Read more »