Although invitations to them remain appealing and well-deserved, attending your own pity party is actually a death wish. When one of my private clients showed up an hour late for his training session, I felt really ticked off. Although I knew he was a physician and therefore seldom in real control of his own schedule, his wrecking “my” afternoon provided an engraved invitation to resentment that I had to stifle for my own benefit.
A pity party is never useful.
Fortunately my physician client was extremely apologetic and it was impossible to stay annoyed with him. We had a productive session despite the rocky start.
On the other hand, sometimes certain people just wake up in a bad mood for seemingly no apparent reason. But suddenly the day/world/job seem bleaker than waiting on death row. Negative energy spreads faster than fake news. Your negative mood can lower the team’s productivity, scare off clients and give you an undeserved rep as a “difficult person.”
Dr. Kim Cameron and his colleagues at the University of Michigan (#gowolverines), published research indicating positivity not only affects individual performance but can amplify organizational outcomes. (Research from the Journal of Applied Behavioral Science)
Easy and effective positive ways to improve team results:
- Appoint yourself as leader by: Caring for, being interested in, and maintaining responsibility for colleagues as friends.
- Offer social first aid by: Providing support for others, including offering kindness and compassion for those who are struggling.
- Eliminate Pity Parties by: Avoiding blame, forgiving mistakes.
- Generate enthusiasm by: Inspiring each other.
- Teach your team by: Emphasizing the deeper meaning in the work.
- Create peace by: Treating all with respect, gratitude, trust & integrity.
Positive practices have two huge impacts:
- Increase the level of positive emotions. Positive energy gives people access to more resources and raises their abilities by improving personal relationships. Positive energy also amplifies creativity.
- Buffer against negative events like stress. Positive energy makes YOU more resilient. If you’re human, you’re going to wake up on the wrong side of the bed on occasion.
#1 The first step is to acknowledge you’re in a cranky state of mind. (Hopefully that’s not very often.) Crankypants can mean you’re discouraged or feeling low energy. Your energy level affects your team even more you may realize. You absolutely can be a more energetic leader by firmly deciding to do so.
#2 Let people who work closely with you know that you’re having an off morning. Unless that’s what they hear every morning, usually your team will help cheer you up. It takes commitment to be a consistently high-energy, positive leader.
Keeping your energy positive means taking care of your body in terms of sleep, nutrition and exercise. Just as important, it also means curating what goes into your mind.
#3 Focusing on the positive is an ancient success secret. Even King Solomon wrote thousands of years ago, For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he, (Proverbs 23:7). Negative thoughts drain your energy.
Positive thoughts maintain or expand your energy.
#4 If you’re still feeling negative, take a couple of minutes to practice extreme gratitude. The fact that you are reading this means you have A TON to be grateful for. Never forget that.
Decide to Be Energetic
If you are healthy, you become more energetic by simply acting more energetic. Your emotions take cues from your body. Walk faster, stretch out your arms, power pose, sit on the edge of your seat, and smile, you will soon feel more energetic. There’s research that shows when you pretend to be happy (even just by smiling), you will actually get into a better mood.
#5 Look for the intuitive lesson.
Maybe there’s a message in your crankypants feeling. Maybe it’s an indication it’s time to take action or make a decision.. Everyone has intuition but it’s not something we talk about in at work.
Simply ask yourself, “Is there something I need to change?” If you have a journal, write down the question and see what comes to mind. Whatever question you ask, you will get it an answer.
Don’t ask, “Why does this always happen to me?” ask “What next step can turn this around?”
Consider the suggestion of Les Brown: Don’t say, ‘I’m having a bad day.’ Say, ‘I am having a character-building day.’
It’s common to think that your time is your most valued asset. Your energy has more inert power to achieve your goals. Don’t let a pity party mood take a day away from you. Make it a character-building day.
